New Kitchen!!!

Radical acceptance. A basic buddhist concept, applied to my kitchen. Radical acceptance is simple. You stop fighting reality. In my case, I dreamed of a bigger, better kitchen, one that would never be able to be built in my actual house with our actual money and actual home values in our actual neighborhood. The minute I gave this up, a miracle happened. At Lowes. We decided to buy new counter tops. They came with a free sink. Then we needed a backsplash. A faucet. Might as well install a real hood that actually vents outside (enough with sneezing the minute the chilis drop in the oil). And while we're opening the backsplash, I've always wanted under-cabinet lighting. Finally, the glass rack we bought at the Container Store but never installed. Then, my fairy godmother waved her wand and this happened (well, okay, three weeks and a good contractor).

This has truly changed my life.

Salmon Patties with Habenero Fig Sauce

My mother used to make salmon patties, she probably still does. Hers were good, the typical Minnesota canned salmon made into patties and doused with creamed peas for flavor and packed with love and home-cooked comfort. A number of years ago I went through a nostalgic phase and suggested the AC make salmon patties. He earnestly set out to make them, in AC style.

The patties were fabulous. He started with canned salmon, mixed in a couple eggs, some matzoh meal, chopped veggies and pan-fried. The best part were the sauces he made to accompany. He started with a sour cream sauce mixed with honey, chipotle peppers and adobo sauce. Once, we were out of sour cream and used yogurt. Another time we only had vanilla yogurt and a star was born. Sweet and very hot, the sauce was perfect with the salmon cake. The salmon patty quickly became a go-to when we didn't feel like grocery shopping before dinner. Costco has really good canned salmon in bulk. Proving that we are not food snobs, but that anything can be made well and worth making. The patties have definitely evolved and are never boring. This recipe was a departure, as the sauce does not have a creamy component. All of the extra ingredients (cheese, veggies, spices are additions and not necessary that you have them all, but will add flavor and dimension. Get creative if you make your own, you can add pretty much anything you have in your fridge.)

Salmon Patty Ingredients
2 cans salmon
1/2 cup matzoh meal
2 eggs
1 medium shallot, minced finely
1/4 cup red bell pepper, diced finely
1 oz. aged, semi-soft chevre, chopped into pieces
1/2-1 tsp finely minced fresh ginger
1/2 tsp garam masala
Mix above together in a bowl and form into four 1" thick patties. Heat pan to med-high and add favorite oil to lightly coat bottom, we experimented with coconut oil with these, with very tasty results. Fry patties until brown on each side (since the salmon is already cooked, this is just to crisp and warm.

Habenero Fig Sauce

2 heaping tbsp of fig preserves
1 tsp lucky's habenero/garlic sauce
1/8-1/4 tsp lemon grass
Mix above ingredients together.

As I said above, AC has many variations of sauces for the salmon patties. To make our more standard version, take either sour cream, plain or vanilla yogurt and mixed with one chopped chipotle pepper and adobo sauce to taste. Very easy. Very good.

For this meal, the side dish was a nice spinach, cannelini bean salad. Here's the scoop:

1 cup chicken stock
1 tsp black pepper
1 clove finely minced garlic
1 bay leaf

Combine all above ingredients into a sauce pan, boil to reduce into a very thick sauce, add 2 tsp olive oil, 1 tsp fish sauce and 1-2 dried chili peppers chopped. Bring to a boil and add 1/2 can cannelini beans rinsed until heated and then add 1 1/ 2 handful of fresh spinach. Cook until spinach is wilted.

Bacon Fried Bananas

Have you ever noticed that we don't mention desserts on this blog? There's a story behind that. The AC doesn't have a sweet tooth, a fact he always brags about whenever it comes up. Conversation drifts towards favorite candy, that new bakery that makes the best donuts, and AC gets quiet, waiting for his opportunity to shrug his shoulders and say "I don't eat that stuff, I don't have a sweet tooth, never have". Then he'll talk about the super-human, weight-lifter convenient fact that instead of sweets, he craves protein. Meat. Not sugar. This is usually followed by the story about his mother hiding sweets in his room because she knew he would never eat them. Apparently the Thanksgiving turkey was another story. It was gone before the first sandwich was made. Guess you have to pick your poison. 

As a result we don't order dessert often and make it even less. I, the UB, do have a sweet tooth, but feel like a pig if I eat more than a few bites of the dessert I ordered for myself, the one AC will have "a bite" of, and he does have just one bite. So it turns into a pretty great diet plan for me too. When we're with friends who want dessert, I joyfully join them, happy to have a partner in the crime of utter indulgence.

Out of the two of us I am the baker. I have learned to bake things AC will eat. Pancakes are one, and as you can see, I have several recipes. The recipe with cottage cheese and yogurt are his favorite...no duh. He also enjoys my fruit cobblers, his favorite is cherry/rhubarb, that really is amazing. I add very little sugar and a scoop of ice cream or coconut sorbet. If it ever warms up around here, I'll post the recipe. He'll also eat crepes with nutella, bread pudding, certain fresh baked cookies (but never day-after) and once ate a chocolate cupcake at a bonfire party we hosted, after several rounds of drinks. I was very pleased.

You can imagine my shock then, when AC offered to cook myself and my lovely sister (who was in town and happened to be over for dinner- yay!) bacon-fried bananas. He even said it this way "I've never made you my bacon fried bananas have I?" Apparently he's had this recipe forever and after eleven years hadn't thought about cooking it for me. I guess saving that stuff up makes for new discoveries? Anyway. They were fabulous. He took about five minutes to make them and here is the recipe:

1. Take 2 bananas, and slice into 1/2" slices.
2. Dredge the bananas in panko breadcrumbs to coat.
3. Sprinkle with cinnamon.
4. Take bacon fat and melt in a hot frying pan. He used enough fat to cover and coat the pan, about 1/8 inch. (Did I tell you we got a new hood? One that actually vents outside? Oh the possibilities...)
5. Place the bananas in the pan, flip when golden brown and cook the other side until golden brown. If you like it sweeter, sprinkle with powdered sugar.
6. Place in a bowl and put down in front of shocked partner and sister-in-law.
7. Earn major points. 

They were made before we even got through the first bit of crazy family gossip and gone before that bit was over. My sister and I were both awed that AC would even suggest a dessert, let alone get up from the table and start to make it, finishing before we even processed what had happened. Anything is now possible. Yes, I realized the dessert involved bacon, but let me have my moment.

The Other "Woman"

Us- OD'ing on sushi, in front of us are the leftovers

So, the AC and I have been together eleven years. Feels like a long time, but then again, it really doesn't seem like it's been that long at all. These eleven years have been easy. As a therapist I know that all relationships take work, but personally, when I hear friends say "relationships are hard", I always think, "they don't have to be". AC and I just work well together. Neither of us yell and scream, even when we're angry. We quibble, but don't really fight. We take time away when we need it and neither of us is really the jealous type. After this amount of time, AC knows me better than I even know myself. And this can uncover painful truths.

Just recently, I have started to become jealous. It has been seeping into our relationship in a way I would have never expected. I wasn't even aware of the impact of my jealousy until recently when I caught AC in the act. One night I had dinner obligations (when I say obligation, I mean, an obligation to eat at a restaurant that I don't enjoy. Because I was meeting the obligation, AC didn't have to). AC and some gym friends decided to grab some food after working out. I returned home, fairly late, to an empty house. After waiting up for almost an hour, a very happy AC came home. I didn't even think of asking where he had been at first, until after I was laying in bed and innocently asked: "where did you end up going for dinner tonight?" A flash of guilt and  hesitance crossed AC's face as he handed me two wrapped pieces of toffee. It took me a minute to place the objects and to understand why AC looked so sheepish...wrapped toffee, gold tie...he ate at Bar la Grassa.

He cheated on me.

As the depth of this betrayal started to sink in, AC starts sputtering, "I told them you'd be pissed if we went, but they pressured me...I agreed to go but figured we wouldn't be able to get in...I brought you toffee...they said I should lie to you, but I would never do that..." Please keep in mind, I never thought I would have a reaction like this and, even less likely, that AC would anticipate this reaction. But all of a sudden, there it was. I had sacrificed and ate dinner at a chain restaurant and he ate at Bar la Grassa!!!

I turned over and wouldn't speak to him. I really did. This is powerful.

Happened again recently, starting with the hint of tastes I got from his lips during a goodnight kiss. Asked again. This time it was the Tea House and my favorite noodles (see the oriental noodles post) that he didn't bring home for me. He had also attended a wine tasting event, but this didn't bother me. The fact that he had gone without me to one of my favorite restaurants hurt. The look again swept across his face. I was amazed again at the feelings of betrayal I noted inside myself- although I was able to laugh at it this time. It's time I start to face my problem.

What is this? It could be that I am simply so passionate about food that I see every meal as an opportunity for a culinary experience. If it's disappointing, I'm disappointed. If AC has the opposite of a disappointing meal, in fact, an AMAZING meal while I was out eating a mediocre meal, of course I'll be jealous. AC reinforces this every time he cooks for me. Maybe he's created this monster. So maybe he'll just have to live with it. And, let's be honest, after being with one person for this long, my reaction probably gives him a rush of excitement, a challenge to see if I'll catch him again. So, maybe I'm reinforcing it too. 

One of our favorite meals out is sushi. I am also prone to jealousy when AC goes out to sushi without me. We started eating sushi a lot when we had been through a run of disappointing mediocre, but expensive, restaurant experiences. The meal always ended with us musing we could make it better at home. So we decided that when we wanted to go out we would get something that wouldn't be practical to make at home, sushi.

Our favorite place is Sushi Tango in Uptown. The atmosphere is nice (although their old location was better), we're friends with a few of the sushi chefs and they have a dish called "Sea-Laab" that is to die for. Minnesota officially has the largest Hmong population in the United States and therefore, most of our sushi chefs are Hmong. The Hmong are from the hills of Laos and they make an amazing dish called Laab. AC is familiar with this dish and the flavors from his time spent in Thailand, and I experienced it when I used to have a large group of Hmong clients and co-workers who celebrated with fabulous picnics. Traditionally, Laab is made with raw meat (usually chicken or beef) and spices, including plenty of thai peppers, mint and fish sauce. It's spicy, sweet and sour. Really perfect. At Sushi Tango they make this dish out of fish. There's nothing like it. So we go to Sushi Tango to get it.

We love sushi so much, it's almost reaches the level of addiction, and we intentionally enable each other. For example, the other night we decided we would go to Sushi Tango and just have a snack. We decided we wouldn't order the expensive pieces and would go for dessert rather than eat our fill, as sushi adds up fast.

We couldn't do it. In fact, I think we spent more than our average that night.

When we have the opportunity to eat sushi, we really don't pass it up. We had sushi twice while in Tucson for Passover. We found a friendly local place that was surprisingly inexpensive and didn't skimp on the portions. In fact, one order of sashimi was probably the equivalent to a whole fish (well not quite, but it was big). We went out with AC's uncle, cousin and sister. We perused the menu and everyone put in their order. Holy shit. The table just kept filling with plates of raw fish, rolls with fish, without fish, a fabulous Japanese fried chicken, dumplings and a notable, perfectly cooked octopus salad with a sweet and spicy sauce. We ate, and ate until jokes about mint wafers started popping up. We packed three boxes of excess sushi to bring home. Three boxes. We felt sick. We had too much sushi.

Since we've been home, about a month now, we have toyed with the idea of sushi for dinner a couple times and it just doesn't sound good. I'm sure we'll be back to our normal selves in no time. But for now we can marvel that what we never expected was possible, happened. So AC could go out for sushi without me, even if I have to go to Applebee's for dinner. Quick AC, go through this window, it's likely to close and you'll once again fear the idea that a friend might suggest a night at Sushi Tango and you'll have to go without me and face my neuroses when you get home.

The Holiday Post - Pesach in Tucson

Tucson, the site of this year's Pesach

If you read this blog much you have most likely ascertained AlphaChef (AC) is Jewish. He comes from a predominantly East Coast based family that, sorry guys, meet every stereotype. They are passionate, political, blunt, opinionated and loud. Friends of myself and the AC may recognize this as a description of us as a couple, so take that image and multiply it by 17, I'm not kidding.

My stock is German Catholic immigrants who settled in Minnesota. We also meet those stereotypes. Somewhat hesitant, polite, quiet, kind, well-meaning and if you disagree, do so quietly so as not to rock the boat. In my family I am the excessively opinionated, passionate, political, loud one that I know they sometimes secretly wish would just be quiet and go with the flow (during my adolescence, change the "sometimes" to "always" and the "secretly" to "openly").

My first introduction to AC's family, in the middle of one of my more rebellious periods, was met with both culture shock and joy that I was entering into a family that seemed much more like me. And yet I was very overwhelmed. Imagine me, who dominates and fights for the last word in most family discussions (mostly because I go on longer than anyone else can tolerate), transported into a place in which I couldn't even get a word in edgewise during group rants. Really. Not an exaggeration. I was deliriously proud if I got a sentence in before the topic changed. This lasted for about the first five years. In this family I was the quiet, sweet, empathetic, Midwestern girl, who finally reigned in the bachelor tendencies of their brother-uncle-cousin-nephew whom they welcomed with amazingly open arms. I'm recovering from that reputation now, don't worry. The other glorious thing about this family is their passion for cooking, food and wine. In this way I fit right in.

One thing I love about AC's family is their tradition of gathering for Pesach (Passover). The Pesach holiday is my favorite of their family gatherings, because it is one this family celebrates more traditionally than they do anything else, which probably appeals to the remnants of Catholicism in me. Due to a wide range of cities in which the families now reside, each year we choose a somewhat central location to gather. This year we were in Tucson, Arizona. And as they say, maybe next year in Israel. But as the AC points out, since they have a special covenant with God that allows them to move Pesach to a date that works with everyone's schedules, Tucson acts a really good substitute. Its dry, hot and has a bonus: good Mexican tortillas.

Another great part about this family is the equitable manner in which meals come together. You will not see the women gathered in the kitchen all day preparing while the men are golfing or watching sports. No, each person or couple is responsible for one part of the meal. Often your reputation proceeds you and you are assigned what you've proven is your strength. The meal always has the same components. The day of the meal is a flurry of shopping and cooking, working around people chatting in the kitchen who will 'hoover' your ingredients if you're not assembling your dish fast enough. The pace is both comfortable and harried, depending on who you are (the one chatting vs. the one trying to cook). Cooking is timed on availability of the kitchen, oven temperature and time requirements and how well you have planned ahead. Miraculously, it always comes together into a complete, amazing meal.

We start with a fairly traditional Seder service, eat dinner and then finish the Seder. The meal is the best part- well maybe not, did I mention the ritual consists of the required consumption of four glasses of wine? Uh-huh.

To the left you'll see the set-up. The book on the plate is the Haggadah. This is the traditional Seder service. This particular one has been in the family since the 1970's even though its titled The New Model Seder. They are a relic in themselves, complete with notations throughout the years. Food is used symbolically in the Seder.




The Seder Plate. Each part of the Seder plate has a traditional meaning and part in the service.

• Maror and Chazeret: Two types of bitter herbs, symbolizing the bitterness and harshness of the slavery which the Jews endured in Ancient Egypt. For maror, many people use freshly grated horseradish or whole horseradish root. Chazeret is typically romaine lettuce, whose roots are bitter-tasting.
• Charoset: A sweet, brown, pebbly paste of fruits and nuts, representing the mortar used by the Jewish slaves to build the storehouses of Egypt.
• Karpas: parsley which is dipped into salt water (Ashkenazi custom) at the beginning of the Seder.
• Zeroa: A roasted lamb bone, symbolizing the Pesach sacrifice, which was a lamb offered in the Temple in Jerusalem and was then roasted and eaten as part of the meal on Seder night.
• Beitzah: A roasted egg, symbolizing the festival sacrifice that was offered in the Temple in Jerusalem and was then eaten as part of the meal on Seder night.

This year an orange was also added to our Seder plate. The explanation was that a rabbi once said, in opposition to women becoming rabbis, that women will become rabbis when there is an orange on the Seder plate (sort of a "when pig's fly" statement).  According to Wikipedia, "Some Jews include an orange on the seder plate, representing fruitfulness when all marginalized peoples are included, particularly women and gay people." Sounds good to me.

Chicken soup with matzoh balls. This is a collaboration. AC's aunt makes the chicken soup every year, a true labor of love. His brother's family make the so-light-they-melt-in-your-mouth matzoh balls for the soup. They have perfected the technique and no one does it better. Thankfully they have passed the secrets onto their children and this year our nephew demonstrated his skills. Insurance? Division of labor? Maybe a bit of both.



Gelfilte fish. Ahh, gefilte fish. Ever heard of lutefisk? This is the Jewish equivalent of lutefisk. It had to have a purpose at some point, because it stuck as a tradition and we all eat it, every year, no matter what. No matter how bad it tastes. It's basically whitefish that has been boiled beyond recognition, processed and pressed into an oval shape. It tastes as you might expect and looks even worse. Overachievers might try to make this from scratch (you'd never be able to reside in the house afterwards though) but most people buy it in jars, packed in a gelatinous goo. Yup. And never buy the sweet style, its even more hideous. It is served on a leaf of lettuce, and here's what makes it palatable, along with hot horseradish. AC says it's sole purpose is as a vehicle for horseradish, and in that light, it's survivable.  Without the horseradish, the AC says he'd run out to the middle of the desert and hope he didn't survive the forty days and nights. The first Pesach I attended, I was assigned the serving and preparation of this part of the meal. It is not, I repeat, not a good idea to have the Pesach virgin plate up the gefilte fish. It took about five years of earnestly attempting to eat the stuff before I could eat a whole piece, now it just wouldn't be Pesach without it.   

Beef Brisket. AC's aunt and uncle have perfected the brisket, or shall I say, his aunt has perfected the brisket and how to reign in her lovely husband's heavy-hand with the spices (salt!), combining for an always tender, full-flavored, lovely brisket. The importance of this cannot be overstated, as you will be eating the brisket as left-overs for a few days at least. The perfectly done brisket makes amazing hash and sandwiches.

Kugel. According to Wikipedia, is a baked Ashkenazi Jewish pudding or casserole, similar to a pie, most commonly made from egg noodles or potatoes, though at times made of zucchini, apples, spinach, broccoli, cranberry, sweet potato or anything the AC throws in. It is usually served as a side dish.We are assigned the kugel, which resembles a casserole traditionally done with noodles, but since noodles aren't kosher for passover, there are a wide range of variations. One year a woman I worked with brought a traditional noodle kugel to a potluck. I loved it and learned how to make a version for AC, just like his mother used to make. Oh, the tears. I brought it to Thanksgiving one year and we have been assigned kugel ever since. Of course, my kugel was made with noodles, so we reinvent one for Pesach every year. If we were smart we'd find a Pesach recipe that we like and re-do it, but we're not that smart and are still surprised every year we are assigned to make it. We go to whatever Jewish cookbook is in the house, look up a recipe and then change it. This year was not our shining moment. It tasted fine, but not great. AC called them "kugel pucks". And it was not photogenic (this took about 10 shots to get one I could use). We made it out of one large, grated sweet potato, two grated granny smith apples, four grated carrots, diced dried cherries, mixed with spices (cinnamon, ginger, salt, cayenne), a cup of matzoh meal, some baking soda (about a tsp) and a cup of melted butter. Mixed up and placed into muffin tins, baked, covered on 400* for about 30 minutes and uncovered for 15 more. Made excellent breakfast muffins, but so-so kugel. 

Vegetables. Three of AC's cousins were present this year. Cousin #1 and #2 (brothers) made asparagus and green beans. Both were very good. The green beans (pictured) were particularly good, served with a lemon garlic sauce and sliced almonds. They were much more photogenic, which for blogging purposes, is of much value.




Charoset. AC's sister does the Charoset, she has gotten the privilege due to her knowledge and excellent execution of two versions. A traditional Ashkenazi which is apples, cinnamon, nuts and wine and a Sephardic recipe with apples, dried fruits, cayenne and pistachios, which is my favorite.

Coconut macaroons. Finally, Cousin #3 handles dessert, her Pesach specialty is coconut macaroons. Always done perfectly, she'll make simple coconut and then chocolate covered. Actually, all her deserts are excellent, Pesach or not.

After the meal, we finish the Seder. The children run around trying to find hidden Matzoh and the Had gadya competition commences. Had gadya or "our little goat" is a song traditionally sung on Passover. In this family, and I'm assuming, others, Had gadya is a competition, in which each competitor attempts to say the entire Had gadya song with just one breath.  AC has memories of wanting to win, until he won and then it was "okay, so what?" And now he keeps trying to get out of the competition and can't. Sort of like cooking the kugel. It's fun. I've never done it. But very proud as AC is quite good at this. I think he won the first year I witnessed it. Probably why we're still together. That and his family.